Building Better Dreams, Pt. 1 (of many)

Just back from watching the movie "Children of Men" with my friend, Pam. Odd, odd movie. Good, extremely interesting. Extremely bleak (though quite possible) look at the future, but yeah, parts of it I was left going, "huh, I don't get it, what are you trying to say" (guess it's maybe like Radiohead. Hopefully I'll get it someday soon).

But the movie makes you think, or at least it made Pam & I think. (Pam has Psalms 90: 12 running through her head, "So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom."). One of the questions I had (maybe not the most intelligent or insightful question, but yeah), was just wondering where we would be in the middle of that future. By 'we', I kind of meant the urban monastery community that Pam is a part of & that I am, well, yes, I guess I can say I'm a part of now, too. (I'm slow with using the 'we' term & lumping myself in with everyone, not 'cause I don't want to be (though there's likely fears there), but mostly 'cause it's 'sacred space' for me - to have gone through the months & years to forge this community of people is no small feat & everyone in the community house (including the 9th member who doesn't live in the house) has poured in a ton of sweat, tears, laughter, frustration & heartache to get to where they are.... me, I'm just a newbie, I haven't paid the cost that these brave (in an everyday bravery kind of sense) folks have paid.... I feel like I have to 'earn' the 'we', though as grace & love will have it, they'll likely consider me a 'we' without my earning it....)

OK, that was a rabbit trail - gotta love stream of consciousness writing style, eh?

Anyhow, where was I, oh yes: With the 'we' I was referring to the urban monastery community, but that can extend to everyone in my circle of friends/family. If society goes in the crapper, where will we be? Alone, foraging for food somewhere, just trying to stay alive? Will we be dead in some ditch somewhere? Will we be handing out food to people? Will we be showing love? Will we be, in the darkest places, messengers of hope or join the destruction?

and yeah, with these thoughts running through my head, I sat down at the computer & a quote from the movie "Reign of Fire". Lovely B-movie with a likewise apocalyptic view of the future where the world is taken over by dragons. At the time I thought it was a great illustration of how pastors/shepherds get turned into apostles (through realizing the only way to keep 'your people' safe is to take the fight to the enemy), but I'm not sure if I know what those words mean anymore. Well, pastor I know, I live that one. Apostle is all confused for me....

At the end of the movie, after the dragons are (maybe) defeated, the leader guy is thinking about the future & whether or not the dragons will come back to further destroy humanity. His response to this: "if they come, they'll burn, we'll build...." (which apparently is also a Nationalist/fascist slogan, which sort of ruins whatever I'm trying to say here).....

...but this all got me to thinking about the great gift of hope that has come recently. See there's something great about being human. There's this gift that all of us has been given, a gift that is blessing & curse. It frees us & drives us mad (insane). It's the flame of hope that lives inside each of us, a candle flame that is somehow, miraculously hard to extinquish (or at least hard to completely snuff out for good). This is source of the every day bravery, the dogged determination that maybe tomorrow will be a better day, that there is still a chance, still a possibility of something good happening......

.... this brought me back to my life in early/mid December & one of the two 'revelatory' moments that made me think about joining up with the urban monastery community. I was doing what I often do, sitting there moping & whining about past dreams & how they've apparently gone to rubble & rubbish & in the middle of my good winge, the unexpected voice in my head says, "well then, I guess you'll just have to build better dreams".....

...and it stopped me. There's this great passage in Haggai 2 which is quoted in Hebrews 12. In Haggai, it's God speaking to encourage a small remnant of people trying to rebuild God's temple in Jerusalem. They've started to build & the young generation sees this great hope of having worship restored to the nation of Israel. The old men weep & cry 'cause it looks so pitiful & not like the great stuff that they one had in Solomon's temple (see Ezra 4). God's response to all of this? He tells them,

"For thus saith the LORD of hosts; Yet once, it [is] a little while, and I will shake the heavens, and the earth, and the sea, and the dry [land]; And I will shake all nations, and the desire of all nations shall come: and I will fill this house with glory, saith the LORD of hosts. The silver [is] mine, and the gold [is] mine, saith the LORD of hosts. The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the LORD of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the LORD of hosts."

Basically God tells them that He will turn the world upside down & the 'glory' of this pitiful little temple will be greater than the glory of Solomon's temple. How? Well, in Solomon's temple, the old place of worship, (see 2 Chronicles 5), the glory of God comes in this thick cloud that fills the temple so that no one could stand in it. Eventually the glory of God hid behind the veil of the temple so that people could go in & out of the temple without being overwhelmed by God's presence.

The new, pitiful, temple built by Zerubbabel & Joshua & their people, eventually, over generations is refurbished by king Herod. Total scumbag kind of guy, but he tried to polish the place up to get brownie points with the Jewish leaders. At the heart though, it's still the little pitiful temple.... and into this place walks Jesus, the glory of God wrapped in human flesh. This is the greater glory, the revelation of Christ.....

...anyhow (maybe this is rabbit trailing, but it's build-up for the punchline). This passage gets quoted in Hebrews 12 where it also adds the following elaboration:

"Whose voice then shook the earth: but now he hath promised, saying, Yet once more I shake not the earth only, but also heaven. And this [word], Yet once more, signifieth the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear: For our God [is] a consuming fire."

I love this passage & the idea that there is wheat & chaff in each of our lives. Some stuff is good, solid nourishing. Some things are unshakeable &, no matter what happens, cannot be moved. There is other stuff that is dust, excess baggage, a waste of time. This stuff blows away with the slightest wind... There is this reality that we can't try to hang on to 'that which can be shaken', it's not reality, it will fade & die. We can only hang on to the kingdom which cannot be shaken.... & what is this? Well, I don't know.... that's part of the shaking process. You find out what can't be shaken after the personal earthquakes come & turn everything else to rubble. You sort of don't know for sure what 'can't be shaken' until after it's all one big tossed salad....

But, I have a hunch that the stuff that can't be shaken have something to do with faith, hope & love, the things which somehow remain....

& this is the part about building better dreams. The dreams I had were built around a building, one idea, one concept. As the dreams crumbled, I started to realize that the heart stuff (for me the love for people) is one of those 'unshakable' things in my life & that I'd do that with or without the dreams. So mostly I've just eked out an existence without dreams for the past year or two. Now, the dreams are maybe starting to come back again. The flame of hope, though hidden, now beings to burn again in earnest.

There are dreams waiting to be dreamed. Big & little ones, all important. At the end of the day, we'll find somewhere that the greatest dreams will be those that are unshakable, like the unquenchable fires of hope & love.... (or maybe it's part of the dream to believe that faith, hope & love can never be extinquished until the day we see our dreams made reality & all that is left is love)....

... but yeah, I'm feeling it's time to rebuild... time for more dreams... for the every day bravery to try again...