Feelers

I love my personality type - which is good 'cause it's mine & I sort of can't get rid of it - so it's good that I like it otherwise I'd drive myself nuts (though i do a good enough job of that as it is).

But I love being a feeler - I love processing things through my emotions. Yes, it's not always the cleanest, quickest, most efficient means of dealing with things. yes it does bring all kinds of chaos to my life that maybe wouldn't be there if I rationalized everything through... but yeah, I love the fact that I can spend one moment going "woe is me, the sky is falling, we're all doomed" and the next moment being freakishly happy, raving on about what a beautiful place the world is & how great it is just to be alive & to take another breath.....

... I think that kind of stuff scares all the thinkers out there 'cause it seems so out of control... That's 'cause they're interpreting things through their noggins instead of their hearts... for the thinkers to express that range of flip-flopping emotions that quickly would require severe mental illness to be a logical reason behind the outburst.....

...but for me, the expression of all this stuff is just normal... it's part of my life & just part of what it means to be me... and I've learned how to live with it... and in that words like 'depression' and 'suicide' don't scare me... they're things I've faced so many times that they're not scary any more... I know I'll likely always be prone to hearing their voices or feeilng their tugs, but I know that the moments will pass & the voice of hope & tug of beauty will soon replace the darker cries....

It's just how we process stuff.. Extroverts will blab & blab & talk themselves in circles until they sort out what they're thinking/feeling... Introverts like me will hole up somewhere and basically go through the same process, but our 'listeners' will be God, our own heads or our journals.... thinkers will make lists of pros & cons & weigh out decisions with complicated logic, where as intuitive feeler people like me will have to search things out - feeling around with our gut instincts & our hearts like some blind man with cane - or like someone fumbling in the dark for a light switch.... eventually we find the way to turn the lights on again, but we need that time to fumble around & find the switch ourselves rather than be told the logical places to look & the 'right' way to do something....

heard this quote from Josh Mac Dowell today I think - he mentioned that the past generation believed something & therefore they knew it would work, where as the current generation only believes something if they see that it works... I'm definitely in the camp of the latter....