People don't talk that way anymore

I made a comment in a comment (if that makes sense) a few posts back commenting that I tend to watch TV & movies with God. This sounds weird & sacrilegious to a lot of Christians 'cause we tend to classify things like reading your bible & praying as things you can do 'with' God, while watching 'secular' things like entertainment are done apart from God.

I'm trying to live out of a spirituality of where I recognize that I am indwelt by Christ (i.e. Jesus lives in my skin somehow). This is a concept for me, not something I understand fully. But it involves walking in the idea that every moment is shared with Jesus. If I want to do something great & noble, Jesus is there doing it with me (often loving through my words, eyes, hands, arms). If I want to drag myself into the mire & slime of the most despicable acts, I end up dragging Jesus in with me & he endures this, the one who knows no sin, becoming sin to bestow His righteousness on me.

So it's recognizing that God inhabits every moment of my day & so I might as well acknowledge this & enjoy hanging out with Him. It's not like I invite him into each moment, I just realize (once in a while) that He is present in each moment & then just enjoy the reality of time shared; in the same way that time is shared with a friend or lover.

& so when I sit down to watch TV or a movie, I am never alone. I am always 'in presence' & so get to share what I watch with Him. & this is not a fearful thing like I was taught when I was younger; something that makes me feel guilty about what I watch/don't watch. Instead, it's a time of dialogue, where I can listen to His heart for the story being portrayed on the screen ( a story, which, if some of my theories hold true, may in some ways come from him, if he is the source of all creativity - this is a fuzzy, non-formalized thought so far, so don't quote me on this as being legit. It may still be out to lunch - like all the rest of my ideas & perspectives :) )

Anyhow, in this, I find there are often 'messages' hidden in movies/TV. Little tiny things that sneak in & I hear God's voice whispering to me in the middle of a show about something related or un-related....

... Friday night watched the movie "National Treasure" with my folks. Great movie. Haven't seen it before, but got it for Christmas from my lovely brother & sister-in-law. My dad borrowed it from me before I returned to Calgary, not realizing it was a Christmas present, & really enjoyed the movie & was excited to get the movie back to me & watch it again.

So great time enjoying a good movie with my folks.... but again, hidden in the movie were little message where I had to choke back the overflow of tears as God whispered stuff to me.

The tears came, most of all, in two places reflecting one thought:

The first came when Nicolas Cage's character Ben Gates is staring at the Declaration of Independence & he says:

"Of all the ideas that became the United States, there's a line here that's at the heart of all the others. 'But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and provide new Guards for their future security.' People don't talk that way anymore......" - Ben Gates

Later on in the movie this one phrase gets repeated when Ben Gates is talking with the romantic interest, Abigail Chase & she asks him if he knows for certain that the treasure they're pursuing is real:

"No, but I hope it's real. I mean, I've dreamt it was real since my grandfather told me about it.... I feel like I'm so close I can taste it. but just, I just want to know it's just not something in my head or in my heart." - Ben Gates

"People don't really talk that way you, know?" - Abigail Chase

"I know, but they think that way...." - Ben Gates

Both times I got choked up at the phrase "People don't talk that way anymore".... Some days I feel very anarchronistic, very out of time. Some days I wonder if everyone feels like they were born outside of the right time, the right age that they were meant for.... I'm probably really lucky that I was born into late 20th century north american Gen-x culture. I'm too much of a pansy & likely wouldn't have survived very long in any other time & place....

...but there are these moments where I feel like I speak things that are very out of time... things that do not fit the language of the world around me. Some days I try to fit in with what's 'normal', I really do.... but I'm never any good at it. A sudden gust of wonder, beauty, awe, tragedy, something will come along & i'll be blown off balance & all the dust of normality will fall off & leave only the brittle-brown of a leaf caught in a wind greater than & outside itself....

...some of my loneliness in life has come from this sense of feeling out of step with the times - of longing for passion, truth, justice, freedom, hope, love, great heady ideals that, well, the words sort of mean nothing & everything at the same time. They are concepts that would take you years to define, but their words that in their simplicity rattle us to the core & whisper to our souls of realities long buried, of the beauty we see in dreams, whispers in the edges of our consciousness of 'more than this'....

I love Nicolas Cage's retort in the second quote - people maybe don't talk this way anymore, but they think this way. Somewhere, behind what's normal, I like to think that people dream, that everyone dreams. That inside the ruffest, gruffest hill-billy, billy-bob, shootin', drinkin', fightin' kind of guy, or the bleach-blond, bubble-head, drama-queen, in all of us there beats a heart that asks the hard questions, that wonders "why am I here?", "what does this really mean?", "What am I doing with my life?" "What is love?", "What is beauty?" "What is truth?"

So yeah, maybe us odd folks who ramble on, who talk like they used to talk, maybe we can (in all our fumbling) articulate, make plain, one tiny thought that inspires someone to dream, to hope, to live in passion... I guess that maybe makes it all worth it in the end (though hard to see in the middle)....