P.S.

Sometime after the post last night, I remembered that I'd told God a few weeks back that He could take the reins of my emotions. At the time I wasn't quite so confident that I knew what I was doing with my emotions & so i figured I'd do the experiment of handing the emotions over to Him to see what He'd do with them....

... it's funny how that we (or at least I) always assume that when we surrender something to God that He will then take on on a safe & even path, always, ever upwards on this constantly improving road to the pinnacles of glory. We/I forget that no where in the Bible or life or anything does God promise to be safe, or to really even give us safety. He promises to protect, shelter, love us, but this may not be the same as our naive concepts of safety.

And so my emotional state fluctuates wildly over the last number of weeks. I find myself very 'in the moment' with what I'm experiencing. And in this, the 'sane' part of me freaks out 'cause I've been told somewhere that people shouldn't go up & down like this unless there's some kind of imbalance. But now that I think about it again, if I somehow believe that God took me at my word in giving Him the reins/control, then maybe living in the moment, experiencing the full weight of whatever emotional response to the moment that there is, maybe this is exactly where I need to be....